Author's note: So I didn't plan on doing this, but a few people asked me to. And for some reason I'm a glutton for
punishment. I have an update almost ready for this story, and so I'll be posting the current chapters once a day leading up to the update which should
then be back from beta. Some of you have read this, it was only on my site at first, others may not have read it. So, some key info before you read.
1. Jason did not leave in January as on the show.
2. Lucky's return is not at all like how it happened on the show.
3. There are several uses of transcripts that I have slightly altered/modified to fit my story.
My girl, Jen, made the awesome banner. She totally rawks.
There will be a few chapters that will be mostly R, maybe NC-17 in the future, but I will note them accordingly.
He was leaving town…for good. He told Sonny he was leaving. He had been to see Emily, Monica and Lila, the only important members of his family. He'd had a chance to see Michael one last time. He had even had one last run in with Carly. Now he was heading to the docks for his final goodbye. It was going to be the hardest. He had to say goodbye to Elizabeth. He knew, at least here, on the docks, he might stand half a chance of being able to walk away from her.
Elizabeth was rushing out after her shift at Kelly's. She was going to meet Jason. His call had surprised her and she was trying not to worry. She had other things to worry about right now.
She smiled at him while walking with him towards the other side of the docks. "This is perfect timing because my shift was almost over and I was on my way to Bobbie's to do laundry. Whatever you have in mind has got to be better than that."
He turned away for a moment "Elizabeth, This won't," turning towards her again, "This won't take long."
Knowing instinctively that the forthcoming news was not good and that they wouldn't be leaving the docks anytime soon, Elizabeth sat down on the nearby bench and looked at him. "Jason, I have to te-'" But she was cut off before finishing her statement.
"I'm leaving town."
"Its business right? How long will you be gone?" She knew that she couldn't freak out. She needed to let him explain the situation before she started to panic.
"It's not business. I'm leaving town for good." He looked into her eyes and hated the pain he saw reflected in them. He hated being the one to cause it.
Trying to be strong, trying to hold back the tears she knew were going to come, she looked into his eyes, "I don't," she paused to clear her throat, "I don't understand. If it's not business, if you're not leaving for Sonny, then what? I mean…"
"I have to go Elizabeth. There are people hurting every day because of me, people I care about. And the only way it will change is if I leave. If I stay away."
"When are you leaving?"
"Soon. Today. I've already said goodbye to everyone else. I"
Of course I'm the last to know. Shaking slightly she turned away, "Just like that. You're just going to go?"
"I have to. I have to go Elizabeth."
"Jason, Am I one of the people you think your hurting if you stay? I don't hurt when I'm with you, I'd hurt without you go. I'll hurt when you're gone. I need to…"
"I made you a target Elizabeth. Someone who people think they can get to me through and you may want to take that risk and you may be okay with it, but I'm not. I can't do that to you, I can't take away the freedom, you've been trying to gain for so long and that's what will happen."
Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks and Jason just wanted to wipe them away. He wanted to take away the pain, but it would only get worse if he stayed. He couldn't do that to her, couldn't hurt her that way, no matter how much it was killing him right now.
"So you're…" she wiped her eyes, "You're leaving to protect me? Jason, I…"
"That's part of it. But not all of it. People…everyone will be better off without me."
"That's not true Jason. Nobody is better off if you're gone. Emily needs you here, I need you here. Lila, Sonny, even Carly. None of us are better off without you. And you're not better off without people who care about you. You can protect us from here, Jason. "
"Elizabeth, you don't understand what that means. You don't understand what having the guards around all the time means, having to handle threats, and worrying about being afraid. I can't stop that. I can't change it." Jason said as he stood up.
"I would never ask you to change it Jason. Is this, is this about the bomb in the studio? I thought, I thought we talked about that and were over it. I understand things like that happen Jason, and Sorel, he won't approach me again. And guards, well I like Johnny, so I could get used to them if I had to, if it meant having you around. I need you here Jason, not just because I want you here, but there's something…"
"I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you Elizabeth. I can't put you in danger every day. I can't allow you to put yourself in danger either. What if I hadn't gotten there in time? What if that bomb had gone off? What if next time Sorel has a gun, what if he doesn't ask questions? What if he hit you? There is too much danger, to many chances for things to happen, even with guards, and I just…I couldn't handle that for you. Even if you could. Even if you wanted to. I can't do that to you. I won't. "
Elizabeth didn't respond. She just sat on the bench staring out at the water with tears cascading down her face.
Jason didn't like the silence. She looked defeated, worried, upset; there was no one word to describe the emotion splayed along her face and in her eyes. He took his place on the bench next to her again and grabbed one of her hands in his own, "Are you okay?"
She turned back to face him, not bothering to wipe away her tears anymore, "Do you want me to say that I am. I can do that. Sure. I'm fine. I'll miss you."
"Don't do that Elizabeth, You don't have to lie to me. I thought you knew that." If he didn't leave soon, he'd never be able to walk away.
"No, I'm not okay. I'm not anywhere near okay. I found out some things today and I thought it was going to be a good day, but now, well I…no, I'm so far from okay. It's not even…never mind. "
Found out some things? "Elizabeth…"
"Do you know how hard it is to lose the only person who believes I can figure out my own life? The only person who believes I can make my own decisions and stand by me even if they turn out to be the wrong ones?"
Jason cut her off with a kiss on the forehead. "You're not losing me Elizabeth. I'm just going away." He knew that he had to say goodbye. He knew that he just had to walk away and never look back. He had to and he had to do it right now.
Elizabeth sniffled "Thank you for telling me Jason. I mean that." Now if you'd only let me finish my sentences.
Jason gave her another quick kiss on the forehead, stood up from the bench and turned to head towards the stairs. "Good Bye Elizabeth."
"No Jason, I'll see you later." She said while looking up at him from on the bench and staring at the water as his figure retreated up the stairs. Blurred eyes watched the water as she finally let out the words she'd been trying to say all night.
As he made it to the top of the stairs, he turned to look back. Taking in one last glance, one last chance to burn her image into his mind, he turned back to leave before he never could. And then he heard the words, spoken barely above a whisper. Words that shocked him to the core and left him frozen in place; Standing there, staring at her.
"I'm Pregnant."
