Thank you to everyone for your comments on the last chapter and the at times pointed conversations. I hope everyone has toast or crackers...because
it's time for a little Jam.
Back Chapters at My Site and The Archives
Prompt: I too pass from the night, I stay a while away o night, but I return to you again and love you. Walt Whitman
It seemed almost ridiculous for Jason to go home to his penthouse the night he was released from prison, considering how late he stayed at Elizabeth's talking to her, but he insisted. Not, he said, because he wanted to, but because he felt he should. People were going to talk about her relationship with him enough as it was, he didn't need to make things even more difficult on her by staying at her house the very first night he was released. Elizabeth had pointedly told him she didn't care what other people said, she'd given up caring what they said when some people had chastised her for exposing Agent Raynor's corruption, thinking instead that a man should be railroaded into prison just because they didn't like him.
Jason had been equally insistent, and left her house sometime in the early morning hours. Elizabeth had poured herself into bed, knowing that the morning would come way too early and not even caring. Jason would be arriving back at her house and spending the day with her and Cameron and she was looking forward to it.
As she'd predicted, Cameron had still been awake when she went to his bedroom to get him, but she was able to tell that her son was staying awake by sheer willpower. He raced down the hall excited to see Jason and launched himself into the man's arms. Jason hugged him tightly, closing his eyes as the little boy's arms wrapped around his neck, and Elizabeth closed her own eyes in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. It was evident just how much the two of them had come to know one another, and care about each other from the letters they'd written.
The three of them sat down on the couch to talk, Cameron forgoing all pretense that he was too big for such things, and curling up on Jason's lap. While they talked, her son rested his head on the older man's shoulder and soon his eyes drifted closed. His lips parted slightly and he became a limp doll as he finally succumbed to sleep. Jason tilted his head and rested his cheek against Cameron's curls and then looked over at Elizabeth. He stood and she led the way down the hall, turning back the covers so Jason could place the sleeping boy into bed. His large hand brushed over her son's head before it drifted to his lips and then a kiss was transferred back via his fingertips.
Then he reached for Elizabeth's hand and they left the boy's bedroom, turning out the light and closing the door most of the way. Once out in the hallway, Jason stopped her and they shared their first kiss. A little hesitant, gentle, yet so full of emotion and feeling, Elizabeth knew that she could spend a lifetime sharing kisses with Jason. It was only the knowledge that her son was asleep just on the other side of the door that made Elizabeth take Jason's hand and lead him back to the living room.
They talked for hours. About anything and everything. He talked about his gratitude and love for her that she would risk so much to get him released from prison, and she told him about how she went into the bathroom and cried every time he sent a letter to her son and made Cameron's day because it was simply overwhelming that he was so giving with Cam. Jason cared more about her son than Zander and even from prison he was teaching her child responsibility and honor. He talked about where he was going to go and the things Diane was setting into place. She told him about the moving company that had already contacted her about packing her and Cameron up and making sure everything arrived safely. All she had to do was keep out their favorite belongings to take with them and drive the car, thus making it the simplest move she'd ever dealt with.
When Jason left, he promised that he would be back for breakfast and then the three of them could spend the day together. Elizabeth felt it was silly for him to come back that early, but he insisted and when Cameron came charging into her room early in the morning, she'd forced herself to get up knowing that Jason would be returning soon. Her son didn't turn on the TV to watch cartoons; instead he sat by the window and watched the street, anxiously waiting for Jason to arrive.
"Mom," he excitedly called out. "Mom…he's here. Jason's here. He's here."
A smile spread across her face at the little boy's excitement and she didn't even have the heart to admonish him to not open the door and run outside in his socks. Abandoning the pancake batter she was stirring up, she walked across the house to the front door and watched as the two most important men in her life greeted each other and then walked towards her. Jason was carrying a white sack and a drink carrier, listening intently to her son as Cameron jabbered on about his excitement to see the older man. Guards discreetly stood a distance away, not watching the scene, but the street.
"I can't believe I fell asleep last night," Cameron lamented. "I waited forever to see you, and then when you finally came I punked out and fell asleep. But I remembered you said you'd be back this morning and when I woke up I couldn't go back to sleep. I made Mom get up and she made me clean my room after getting dressed and I set the table and I was watching for you."
"Cam," Elizabeth called out to him. He'd stopped walking and was standing on the cold sidewalk in his socks, with no jacket on and Jason was stopped patiently beside him, listening to her son. "Why don't you and Jason come inside? You took off without your shoes and left the door open."
He looked slightly sheepish, and quickly started walking again, entering the house and turning around anxiously to keep Jason in his sights. "How come you don't have your motorcycle? I was hoping you'd have it today."
"Cam," she sighed.
"Sorry," her son apologized, his sheepish look back and bigger this time. "I…I didn't mean it like that, Jason."
"That's alright," he answered. "I didn't bring my motorcycle because I wouldn't have been able to carry this," he gestured to the items in his hands. "And because I wouldn't have been able to take both of you on it in case we decided we wanted to go some place."
"Oh," Cam nodded, happy with the explanation and then moved forward. "What'd you get?"
Elizabeth shook her head and sighed again. "Cameron."
"I brought donuts and drinks," Jason replied. "I know you and your mom like hot chocolate so I got you that."
"Mom loves hot chocolate," her son giggled. "But sometimes she drinks coffee. When she has to stay up late grading papers, or she has to get up early. She made coffee this morning."
"That's because Mom needed coffee," Elizabeth said under her breath, turning back to the kitchen. She knew that it would be impossible to get a word in edgewise around her son right now and instead of standing around, she'd get back to work on the pancakes.
She called out over her shoulder as she set to work stirring the batter again, "You can have a donut, Cam, but just one. You need to have pancakes as well and I don't want you filled up on donuts."
"Yes, Mom," he told her, and she could hear him rolling his eyes just based on the tone of his voice. Then she heard the sack crinkle and knew he was going after his donut.
"Here," Jason said softly at her side, handing her a paper cup with a plastic lid. "I asked them to put in extra whipped cream for you."
"Thank you," she smiled at him, warmth radiating from her fingers as she brushed against his hand while reaching for her drink. He was standing so close to her and all she wanted to do was stretch up on her toes and kiss him, but she felt self-conscious about it because Cameron was in the room with them.
She and Cameron had talked about Jason in the weeks as they were hoping he would be released and her ever-astute son had asked her pointblank if she liked Jason and if she would be dating him once he was released from prison. Elizabeth had admitted to her son that yes, she did like Jason and she did want to date Jason and see what might happen between them. When Cameron asked if that meant she and Jason would get married one day, she asked him how he would feel about such a thing happening. Her little boy who normally didn't like her going out on dates with anybody because he always worried that the men wouldn't like him, had thought about it for a moment and then said that it might not be so bad to have Jason around. He seemed nice from his letters and from all that Morgan had said.
Despite that conversation, Elizabeth knew it could be different for Cameron to actually see the proof of her attraction to Jason by kissing him. Yet, she also knew her son would have to get used to the idea. Jason wasn't just his friend to talk to; Elizabeth wanted to spend time with him, and hoped to spend time alone with him. She hoped her son wouldn't feel jealous or threatened by any interaction that she would have with the ex-enforcer.
"Are you going to kiss my mom?" Cameron asked Jason bluntly, his voice thick with the donut crammed into his mouth.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks flame as she stepped back from Jason as if she'd been burned and then turned to stare at Cameron. Her son was watching the two of them intently, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Cameron Webber," she admonished him.
However, Jason took a completely different approach to the situation. "Would that bother you?"
Her son looked slightly confused by the question at first, but then pondered it before shaking his head. "I…I guess not. I mean…as long as you're not doing it all the time and where people could see you. She's my mom and she…parents aren't supposed to go around kissing. But I've seen the older kids at school and they kiss all the time when they first start going out and I guess that's kinda what you guys are doing."
Elizabeth quickly flipped the pancakes and then took a deep breath while turning back to face her son again. "I guess that's what you could say Jason and I are doing. We…we like each other and we want to spend time together."
"I know," the younger boy sighed. "You're probably gonna go out on dates with him and I'll have a babysitter. Just…is that all you're gonna do, Jason?"
"I'll still do things with you, Cameron," he answered, sitting down at the table across from her son. "I want to spend time with you and your mom, and I want to take your mom out. But I'd also like to spend some time with you. If that's alright with you and your mom."
"You're not just saying that, are you?" Cam asked. "Mom would get asked out by other guys and they would say that they liked me and wanted to do things with me, but they never did. And I know kids from school who have stepfathers and they all claim they like the kid, but then a new baby's born and that's all their stepdad cares about."
He pondered for a moment and then said, "Jax isn't like that…I guess. Morgan says he's cool and that they do things together, but he wonders if that'll change if his mom has a baby some day. If Jax will still like doing things with him, or if he'll just get forgotten."
Elizabeth took the pancakes off the electric griddle and didn't bother putting new batter on. Sitting down at the table across from her son she reached out and took his hands. Her little boy allowed her to give him comfort for a moment and then he pulled his hands back and tried to shrug as if it wasn't a big deal.
"I know Jax seems pretty cool and Morgan says he likes him. But it…it's something he wonders about," Cameron confessed. "And…and I just, you know…if you and Jason date and then get married…are you going to do the same thing? My…my biological father didn't want me and he took off and left me and my mom. It's been just the two of us and I don't want her hurt. I don't…I don't want to trust someone and then find out it was all some big joke until their real kid comes along."
Elizabeth looked over at Jason, completely unsure of what she could say to calm her son's fears, or even if she should. Maybe Cameron just needed to get this all out and wasn't really looking for answers. Because how could a person truly believe a promise on the future when everything constantly shifted and changed? While a person would believe with certainty that they would always feel one way or would never do something…there were no guarantees.
"Cam," Jason began after clearing his throat. "I know you feel a bit scared; you're not sure of what will happen and it's not easy to face that. Nobody knows what will happen, but I do want to try to explain something to you. Okay?"
Her son nodded and looked at Jason with rapt attention.
"You know that Michael is my nephew, right?" When Cameron nodded, the older man continued. "He's my brother's biological son, even though Sonny adopted him. I knew Michael's mom when she was pregnant and it's kinda complicated to explain and understand, but when Michael was born, I was listed as his father on his birth certificate. I raised him for the first year and I loved him. It wasn't because he was my nephew instead of my son, I really did consider him my son. The moment I held him and became responsible for him, taking care of him and trying my best, he was mine. I didn't care about what biology or the law might say, he was my son and I couldn't have loved him any more than if DNA said he was mine."
Jason swallowed and then said, "Things changed and I wasn't in his life like that and now I'm just his uncle. I still love him and I will always remember raising him. Now he's my nephew and so is Morgan, even though there's no blood relation between us. Blood and biology don't matter to me. I don't treat Morgan any differently than I treat Michael, do I?"
"No," Cameron whispered as he shook his head.
"I love your mother," Jason admitted, "and I care about her life. I love you because I've gotten to know you from your letters, but even before that, I loved you simply because you were Elizabeth's son. You are so important to her and that made you important to me because I care about her very much. Now that we've written each other and we'll be spending time together…you're important to me. You're important to me like Michael and Morgan are."
He looked at Elizabeth and then said, "Maybe one day your mother and I will get married and maybe one day we'll have more children, but we will always have you and nothing will change that or change how we feel about you."
Back Chapters at My Site and The Archives
Prompt: I too pass from the night, I stay a while away o night, but I return to you again and love you. Walt Whitman
It seemed almost ridiculous for Jason to go home to his penthouse the night he was released from prison, considering how late he stayed at Elizabeth's talking to her, but he insisted. Not, he said, because he wanted to, but because he felt he should. People were going to talk about her relationship with him enough as it was, he didn't need to make things even more difficult on her by staying at her house the very first night he was released. Elizabeth had pointedly told him she didn't care what other people said, she'd given up caring what they said when some people had chastised her for exposing Agent Raynor's corruption, thinking instead that a man should be railroaded into prison just because they didn't like him.
Jason had been equally insistent, and left her house sometime in the early morning hours. Elizabeth had poured herself into bed, knowing that the morning would come way too early and not even caring. Jason would be arriving back at her house and spending the day with her and Cameron and she was looking forward to it.
As she'd predicted, Cameron had still been awake when she went to his bedroom to get him, but she was able to tell that her son was staying awake by sheer willpower. He raced down the hall excited to see Jason and launched himself into the man's arms. Jason hugged him tightly, closing his eyes as the little boy's arms wrapped around his neck, and Elizabeth closed her own eyes in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. It was evident just how much the two of them had come to know one another, and care about each other from the letters they'd written.
The three of them sat down on the couch to talk, Cameron forgoing all pretense that he was too big for such things, and curling up on Jason's lap. While they talked, her son rested his head on the older man's shoulder and soon his eyes drifted closed. His lips parted slightly and he became a limp doll as he finally succumbed to sleep. Jason tilted his head and rested his cheek against Cameron's curls and then looked over at Elizabeth. He stood and she led the way down the hall, turning back the covers so Jason could place the sleeping boy into bed. His large hand brushed over her son's head before it drifted to his lips and then a kiss was transferred back via his fingertips.
Then he reached for Elizabeth's hand and they left the boy's bedroom, turning out the light and closing the door most of the way. Once out in the hallway, Jason stopped her and they shared their first kiss. A little hesitant, gentle, yet so full of emotion and feeling, Elizabeth knew that she could spend a lifetime sharing kisses with Jason. It was only the knowledge that her son was asleep just on the other side of the door that made Elizabeth take Jason's hand and lead him back to the living room.
They talked for hours. About anything and everything. He talked about his gratitude and love for her that she would risk so much to get him released from prison, and she told him about how she went into the bathroom and cried every time he sent a letter to her son and made Cameron's day because it was simply overwhelming that he was so giving with Cam. Jason cared more about her son than Zander and even from prison he was teaching her child responsibility and honor. He talked about where he was going to go and the things Diane was setting into place. She told him about the moving company that had already contacted her about packing her and Cameron up and making sure everything arrived safely. All she had to do was keep out their favorite belongings to take with them and drive the car, thus making it the simplest move she'd ever dealt with.
When Jason left, he promised that he would be back for breakfast and then the three of them could spend the day together. Elizabeth felt it was silly for him to come back that early, but he insisted and when Cameron came charging into her room early in the morning, she'd forced herself to get up knowing that Jason would be returning soon. Her son didn't turn on the TV to watch cartoons; instead he sat by the window and watched the street, anxiously waiting for Jason to arrive.
"Mom," he excitedly called out. "Mom…he's here. Jason's here. He's here."
A smile spread across her face at the little boy's excitement and she didn't even have the heart to admonish him to not open the door and run outside in his socks. Abandoning the pancake batter she was stirring up, she walked across the house to the front door and watched as the two most important men in her life greeted each other and then walked towards her. Jason was carrying a white sack and a drink carrier, listening intently to her son as Cameron jabbered on about his excitement to see the older man. Guards discreetly stood a distance away, not watching the scene, but the street.
"I can't believe I fell asleep last night," Cameron lamented. "I waited forever to see you, and then when you finally came I punked out and fell asleep. But I remembered you said you'd be back this morning and when I woke up I couldn't go back to sleep. I made Mom get up and she made me clean my room after getting dressed and I set the table and I was watching for you."
"Cam," Elizabeth called out to him. He'd stopped walking and was standing on the cold sidewalk in his socks, with no jacket on and Jason was stopped patiently beside him, listening to her son. "Why don't you and Jason come inside? You took off without your shoes and left the door open."
He looked slightly sheepish, and quickly started walking again, entering the house and turning around anxiously to keep Jason in his sights. "How come you don't have your motorcycle? I was hoping you'd have it today."
"Cam," she sighed.
"Sorry," her son apologized, his sheepish look back and bigger this time. "I…I didn't mean it like that, Jason."
"That's alright," he answered. "I didn't bring my motorcycle because I wouldn't have been able to carry this," he gestured to the items in his hands. "And because I wouldn't have been able to take both of you on it in case we decided we wanted to go some place."
"Oh," Cam nodded, happy with the explanation and then moved forward. "What'd you get?"
Elizabeth shook her head and sighed again. "Cameron."
"I brought donuts and drinks," Jason replied. "I know you and your mom like hot chocolate so I got you that."
"Mom loves hot chocolate," her son giggled. "But sometimes she drinks coffee. When she has to stay up late grading papers, or she has to get up early. She made coffee this morning."
"That's because Mom needed coffee," Elizabeth said under her breath, turning back to the kitchen. She knew that it would be impossible to get a word in edgewise around her son right now and instead of standing around, she'd get back to work on the pancakes.
She called out over her shoulder as she set to work stirring the batter again, "You can have a donut, Cam, but just one. You need to have pancakes as well and I don't want you filled up on donuts."
"Yes, Mom," he told her, and she could hear him rolling his eyes just based on the tone of his voice. Then she heard the sack crinkle and knew he was going after his donut.
"Here," Jason said softly at her side, handing her a paper cup with a plastic lid. "I asked them to put in extra whipped cream for you."
"Thank you," she smiled at him, warmth radiating from her fingers as she brushed against his hand while reaching for her drink. He was standing so close to her and all she wanted to do was stretch up on her toes and kiss him, but she felt self-conscious about it because Cameron was in the room with them.
She and Cameron had talked about Jason in the weeks as they were hoping he would be released and her ever-astute son had asked her pointblank if she liked Jason and if she would be dating him once he was released from prison. Elizabeth had admitted to her son that yes, she did like Jason and she did want to date Jason and see what might happen between them. When Cameron asked if that meant she and Jason would get married one day, she asked him how he would feel about such a thing happening. Her little boy who normally didn't like her going out on dates with anybody because he always worried that the men wouldn't like him, had thought about it for a moment and then said that it might not be so bad to have Jason around. He seemed nice from his letters and from all that Morgan had said.
Despite that conversation, Elizabeth knew it could be different for Cameron to actually see the proof of her attraction to Jason by kissing him. Yet, she also knew her son would have to get used to the idea. Jason wasn't just his friend to talk to; Elizabeth wanted to spend time with him, and hoped to spend time alone with him. She hoped her son wouldn't feel jealous or threatened by any interaction that she would have with the ex-enforcer.
"Are you going to kiss my mom?" Cameron asked Jason bluntly, his voice thick with the donut crammed into his mouth.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks flame as she stepped back from Jason as if she'd been burned and then turned to stare at Cameron. Her son was watching the two of them intently, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Cameron Webber," she admonished him.
However, Jason took a completely different approach to the situation. "Would that bother you?"
Her son looked slightly confused by the question at first, but then pondered it before shaking his head. "I…I guess not. I mean…as long as you're not doing it all the time and where people could see you. She's my mom and she…parents aren't supposed to go around kissing. But I've seen the older kids at school and they kiss all the time when they first start going out and I guess that's kinda what you guys are doing."
Elizabeth quickly flipped the pancakes and then took a deep breath while turning back to face her son again. "I guess that's what you could say Jason and I are doing. We…we like each other and we want to spend time together."
"I know," the younger boy sighed. "You're probably gonna go out on dates with him and I'll have a babysitter. Just…is that all you're gonna do, Jason?"
"I'll still do things with you, Cameron," he answered, sitting down at the table across from her son. "I want to spend time with you and your mom, and I want to take your mom out. But I'd also like to spend some time with you. If that's alright with you and your mom."
"You're not just saying that, are you?" Cam asked. "Mom would get asked out by other guys and they would say that they liked me and wanted to do things with me, but they never did. And I know kids from school who have stepfathers and they all claim they like the kid, but then a new baby's born and that's all their stepdad cares about."
He pondered for a moment and then said, "Jax isn't like that…I guess. Morgan says he's cool and that they do things together, but he wonders if that'll change if his mom has a baby some day. If Jax will still like doing things with him, or if he'll just get forgotten."
Elizabeth took the pancakes off the electric griddle and didn't bother putting new batter on. Sitting down at the table across from her son she reached out and took his hands. Her little boy allowed her to give him comfort for a moment and then he pulled his hands back and tried to shrug as if it wasn't a big deal.
"I know Jax seems pretty cool and Morgan says he likes him. But it…it's something he wonders about," Cameron confessed. "And…and I just, you know…if you and Jason date and then get married…are you going to do the same thing? My…my biological father didn't want me and he took off and left me and my mom. It's been just the two of us and I don't want her hurt. I don't…I don't want to trust someone and then find out it was all some big joke until their real kid comes along."
Elizabeth looked over at Jason, completely unsure of what she could say to calm her son's fears, or even if she should. Maybe Cameron just needed to get this all out and wasn't really looking for answers. Because how could a person truly believe a promise on the future when everything constantly shifted and changed? While a person would believe with certainty that they would always feel one way or would never do something…there were no guarantees.
"Cam," Jason began after clearing his throat. "I know you feel a bit scared; you're not sure of what will happen and it's not easy to face that. Nobody knows what will happen, but I do want to try to explain something to you. Okay?"
Her son nodded and looked at Jason with rapt attention.
"You know that Michael is my nephew, right?" When Cameron nodded, the older man continued. "He's my brother's biological son, even though Sonny adopted him. I knew Michael's mom when she was pregnant and it's kinda complicated to explain and understand, but when Michael was born, I was listed as his father on his birth certificate. I raised him for the first year and I loved him. It wasn't because he was my nephew instead of my son, I really did consider him my son. The moment I held him and became responsible for him, taking care of him and trying my best, he was mine. I didn't care about what biology or the law might say, he was my son and I couldn't have loved him any more than if DNA said he was mine."
Jason swallowed and then said, "Things changed and I wasn't in his life like that and now I'm just his uncle. I still love him and I will always remember raising him. Now he's my nephew and so is Morgan, even though there's no blood relation between us. Blood and biology don't matter to me. I don't treat Morgan any differently than I treat Michael, do I?"
"No," Cameron whispered as he shook his head.
"I love your mother," Jason admitted, "and I care about her life. I love you because I've gotten to know you from your letters, but even before that, I loved you simply because you were Elizabeth's son. You are so important to her and that made you important to me because I care about her very much. Now that we've written each other and we'll be spending time together…you're important to me. You're important to me like Michael and Morgan are."
He looked at Elizabeth and then said, "Maybe one day your mother and I will get married and maybe one day we'll have more children, but we will always have you and nothing will change that or change how we feel about you."
