A/N: I knew how I wanted to start and end this chapter, but the stuff in the middle, I wasn't so sure about and honestly, I'm not so sure how well it worked. And there's a question at the end if you'd like to weigh in. Thanks for the feedback, I'm really enjoying this story and I hope that you are as well. Happy Fourth! -- Jessie
Back chapters here.
AMBDAY08: Shattered, Part 7
Prompt: Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the right of choice.
Elizabeth sunk into the couch, stunned by her own false bravado. She hadn't intended to offer to meet Jason, in public, with the boys, that afternoon. She had, in a moment of wanting to reassure Jason and to make him happy, painted herself into a corner from which she could only emerge by making a difficult choice.
Did she push herself beyond her comfort zone, walk into Kelly's with her family and face the gossip and innuendo that would follow?
Did she remain hidden in the sanctuary of the penthouse? Did she dare disappoint Jason now?
Elizabeth pulled her knees to her chest, made no attempt to suppress the tears that streamed silently down her cheeks. Intellectually, she knew that this choice was hers alone. Jason would never press her for more then she could give and he would support her in whatever she chose. And she knew that sort of freedom was something to be treasured. That Jason had always given her the freedom to make her own decisions and had always given her the space to work out her own needs and desires was one of the things she loved most about him. One of the things that made her acutely aware of how truly fortunate she was to have him in her life.
More then anything, she wanted a life with him; so much so that sometimes, she thought her wanting it might even be enough to overcome her doubts about his ability to commit to her, Cameron and Jake forever.
But the ice cold fingers of her doubt always crept back up her spine, made her shiver with the awareness that she was never enough for anyone else to stick around and she just didn't believe that she was enough to keep Jason Morgan committed for the rest of his life.
The more Elizabeth doubted herself, the more certain she was that she couldn't walk into Kelly's that afternoon.
Her parents had left her, her siblings were little more than another entry in her address book and another Christmas card on her list. Lucky had left her, first in the fire, then to Helena's control, Sarah, Maxie, and finally to his addiction and her inability to be honest about who she truly loved. While Ric hadn't really left her, she had also never been enough for him to put down the sword of revenge he carried for his brother and ultimately, she couldn't allow herself to come a distant second to the man who was supposed to put her above all others.
And then there was Jason. Jason was most certainly her most complicated relationship and yet, she'd never really had him, had never been able to hold him. Somehow, she felt so driven to try to hold him this time, despite her fear and doubt. She couldn't think about being heartbroken again, she had to take his efforts at regaining her trust at face value and she couldn't hold of their past mistakes against him anymore. In order to accomplish any of those things, she needed to be healthy and in that moment, she knew without a doubt that she wasn't. But she could be, she just had to take the steps to get herself there.
She wiped the tears from her face with renewed determination, rose from the couch and headed up the stairs to her boys. For them, for Jason, for herself, she finally wanted to move forward.
*~*~*
Jason paced across the floor of the warehouse on Pier 34 waiting for Max and Richie to return with information on who was responsible for the fact that a ship and more then three million dollars of cargo now rested at the bottom of the Port Charles Harbor. But his mind wasn't in the warehouse or on business.
This was the first time that business had forced him to leave Elizabeth and his sons alone in the penthouse. His right hand gripped his cell phone tightly and he half expected it to ring any moment with news from Milo, the guard he'd assigned to the penthouse and Elizabeth, that something was terribly amiss.
But as Jason continued to pace, the phone in his hand remained silent. He traced a monotonous path forward and then back, wracking his brain for ways to prove to Elizabeth that he wasn't going to leave her, for ways to help her, for things he could do to steer her toward professional intervention.
He wanted to ask Diane to draw up papers to amend Jake's birth certificate to reflect his true parentage. He wanted to ask her to draw up adoption papers for Cameron. He desperately wanted to buy an engagement ring and plan a wedding. He wanted to buy her a house. He wanted to take her and the boys to Italy for a year. He wanted to have another child with her, a girl with her brilliant blue eyes and her spirit.
As much as he ached for all of those things, he also knew they would scare Elizabeth, that she wasn't ready for any of it. He doubted she was even ready for lunch at Kelly's and while he'd be thrilled if she followed through, he wasn't expecting that to be what happened.
Jason stopped mid-pace when the door at the far side of the warehouse opened and Max and Richie strode through to stand before him.
"Boss, there's nothing," Max sighed. "We've hit every source we've got but no one seems to know who blew the shipment last night."
"Did Spinelli find anything?" Jason asked, seeming to accept that this was not something that would be settled quickly or easily.
"Nothing, but he's working on it." Richie added.
"Alright." Jason sighed. "I'm going back to the office to make some calls and then I'll be at home. Unless it's an emergency, Max, you deal with it."
"Right Boss," Max nodded. He had become Jason's most trusted, most relied upon guard and he took his newfound responsibility and position seriously.
Jason stood for a moment as Max and Richie exited the warehouse. He'd go back to the office, make his calls, and then he had to figure out what to do next with Elizabeth.
*~*~*
Elizabeth's swirling doubt and hesitation at the decision facing her faded with the routine of her morning. She's taken a quick shower only to emerge to find Cameron sitting on the bed she shared with Jason trying to figure out how to turn on cartoons for himself. She could hear Jake babbling in his bed down the hall and wrapped in a towel, she retrieved her youngest son, plopped him on the bed with his brother and bribed them with Little Einsteins so she could quickly dress and blow dry her hair.
She'd taken the boys to the kitchen and made their favorite pancakes for breakfast before doing the dishes and letting the boys run wild in the living room. Jason swore he didn't mind the mess and in just a week's time, the boys had quite the collection of toys, games and books.
By the time she had finished in the kitchen Cameron had started and abandoned two puzzles, had a stack of books in the middle of the floor and was currently tucked half under the pool table with a coloring book and a box of crayons. Meanwhile, Jake had dumped Candyland and Sorry in front of the fireplace, had meticulously lined up matchbox cars on the coffee table and was, at that moment, emptying the drawers of Jason's desk.
Elizabeth sighed at the mess but couldn't fault her sons. They had adjusted remarkably well to all the upheaval in their lives recently and Elizabeth had been amazed at how easily they had both accepted the move into the penthouse and Jason's presence in their lives.
After two games of Candyland with Cam and Jake, Elizabeth had come to a decision. She wasn't ready to reveal herself or her relationship with Jason to all of Port Charles, but she thought, she could certainly reveal herself to just one person; one person who could help her take the next step. Hopefully Jason would see it for the step in the right direction that she believed it to be and would forgive her for letting him believe that she might actually be ready for a lunch at Kelly's.
After helping the boys clean up most half of the mess spread over the first floor of the penthouse, Elizabeth sat down at the desk and wrote a note. Once it was complete she opened the front door and asked Milo to come in for a moment.
"Milo, I need a favor."
"Uh. What can I do for ya, Miss Webber?" The guard shifted his feet nervously. Aside from a quick reintroduction when Jason has assigned him to Miss Webber and the penthouse, the younger guard hadn't seen or spoken to her.
Elizabeth thrust the note toward Milo, "I need you to call and tell her that Jason needs to see her at the penthouse as soon as possible. Make sure she knows that he's alright, that it's not an emergency or anything. I don't want her to worry, but ask her to come by as soon as she can. Please?" She was speaking fast, too fast, she knew, but the nerves in the pit of her stomach just wouldn't settle.
"Yeah, of course Miss Webber, I'll do it right now."
"Thanks Milo, there's just one more thing," she added, "Jason's going to call in a little while and when he does, I'm going to need you to call in an order to Kelly's for me."
"No problem, you just let me know." Milo smiled hesitantly at the petite nurse. Maybe she wasn't really so scary, he thought.
Milo let himself out and made him phone call.
Three games of Sorry with Cam and about 13 colored pictures with Jake later, Elizabeth's cell phone, resting in her hip pocket, rang.
"Hello?" she answered even though the caller ID display told her it was Jason.
"It's me. I'm leaving the office in a few minutes." He hesitated before adding, "Did you want me to pick up lunch?"
"Jason," Elizabeth sighed, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned meeting you this morning. I'm just not… I can't," she finished on a defeated sigh.
"It's alright, Elizabeth. I didn't think you were ready. What do you want me to pick up?" At that point, he just wanted to get home to her.
"I asked Milo to call in an order to Kelly's for me; he'll leave your name, so just pick that up and come home, alright?"
"Of course, I'll be there soon." Jason hung up, not failing to notice that she had referred to the penthouse as "home." He smiled at the thought that just maybe, she was starting to think if it as her home as much as his.
Elizabeth hung up and quickly gave Milo another note, this time with the order she needed him to place.
A few minutes later, a soft knock sounded at the door. Elizabeth ushered the boys up the stairs, asking Cameron to help his brother wash up for lunch and then she answered the door.
She pulled it open firmly, not surprised to find shock on her visitor's face.
"Thanks for coming. I'm sorry I didn't call myself, but I really need your help." Elizabeth moved to the side and allowed the woman to enter.
"Is Jason? Is he alright?" Her eyes couldn't help but scan the usually neat living room and she smiled at the sight of children's toys and games littering the floor and tables.
"Jason's fine. It's me. I need you to help me."
"Of course." She answered, "Anything you need."
Just then the door swung open, Jason was home.
*~*~*
So, I think I know who's at the door (there are a couple possibilities in my head right now), but I'd really love to know who you think it might be or who you think it ought to be if you're so inclined to share your thoughts. Thanks!







Cool Hand Luke Courtesy of My Lady Katy!
Member of The Magnificent Eleven
















