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RainStormRaider wrote:

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What Lizismyfave said!!!

WHY did Eliabeth give up a great, super-hot doc like Patrick for the petulantly-smug man-child with a martyr-complex? WHY!!!

diclaimer:I don't own anything, i'm just playing with the characters for fun

Chapter 9

The boys were at a sleep over's and it was just Liz and Jason, a perfect time for them to talk Jason thought to himself. He had been trying to get her to sit down with him for a few days now and she always seemed to squirm out of it, but not this time. He was almost healed and knew he was going to have to leave soon and wanted to take advantage of this time with her. Hopefully he would get her to see that he knew he was a dumbass and he intended to never be one again!

"Liz?" Jason spoke softly as she passed him, "We need to talk. Liz."

"Not right now Jason, I have too…"

"Yes, now Liz. You have been avoiding me for days now and its time to talk." He answered sternly.

"Fine." she growled and followed him to the couch. As she sat down she folded her arms in front of her and looked at him expectantly. "So, talk."

Jason sighed, 'of course, this couldn't be easy, right?' "Liz, we need to get this stuff out. I know you have still have things you don't understand about what I did, so tell me what they are so we can talk about them You need to ask me questions and I need to answer them.. "

"Well, aren't we the great philosopher today?" Liz said sarcastically. "Fine. Jason, I get the reason you left. The whole Michael being your fault thing and I even get why you stayed away, but I still don't fully understand why you couldn't trust me with the truth. Why couldn't I know?"

"Liz, I did, and still do, trust you with everything. The reason I didn't tell you had nothing to do with me thinking you weren't trustworthy or strong enough. It was because I knew I wasn't strong enough. And, faced with you, I couldn't trust myself to do the right thing. If you had pleaded with me to stay, I would have given in, and at the time I thought that was wrong."

"You couldn't trust yourself Jason? That is so lame; that is the biggest bunch of crap!" Liz spat.

"It may be lame, but it is still true. You have no idea the power you hold over me, Lizabeth. No matter what you have done, I have gone on loving you through it all. Wait, just think for a minute," he paused for a breath.

He got up and walked to the fireplace, "When Carly cheated on me with Sonny, I was never able to look at her the same again. But, when you slept with Zander, I still loved you. When Sam slept with Ric while we were split up, I was never able to get over it. You married him and I still went on loving you." He walked back over to the couch and sat down again, he needed to be sure she was looking in his eyes as he said this. He needed to be sure she saw he was telling the truth. "When Robin betrayed my trust by telling AJ the truth, I was never able to get over it. When you lied to me about my son and kept it a secret from me, I still loved you. Through everything, I have loved you. Elizabeth, that will never change. No matter what you do, I will love you through it. Its not a choice for me, I. Just. Love. You." He slid closer to her, "All I am asking is you at least think about trying to love me through this. Please, Elizabeth?"

"Jason, I just keep thinking of you sitting in some room watching me struggle and never doing anything about it!" She couldn't seem get this one thing to make sense, in her mind or in her heart.

"Do you think that it didn't kill me, too? Do you think I didn't cry right along with you? Do you know how many nights I would climb into your window just to watch you sleep? And when I wasn't there, I sat in that room, in that chair, with my hand on the computer screen crying too, Liz." His eyes were full of unshed tears as he pleaded for her to understand.

"Then why have the cameras Jason? If it hurt you so bad? Why do it?" This really was making no sense! She could feel his pain start to pull at her heart.

"Because I deserved to hurt, Liz. I deserved to see what I had done." Jason answered softly, taking his eyes away from hers for the first time.

"So you were, what, punishing yourself? Jason, that's just twisted." Liz told him crossly.

"Hey, you knew I was brain damaged when you met me." Jason answered her smartly, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Oh great, now you're a comedian," Liz sighed.

"Liz, don't you get it? Those cameras were my last connection to you. They were my only way to keep you for just a little longer while I made sure you were ok."

"But I wasn't ok, Jason. I wasn't ok at all! That's the point! When you saw how badly I was dealing with you leaving, why didn't you come to me?!" Tears were starting to run down her face.

He looked back up into her eyes, "I did."

"What?" She uttered. "What are you talking about?!" she demaned.

"I was watching you one night and I just couldn't take you hurting anymore, so I went to your room. You were asleep, but Lainey was there, sitting up with you," he explained.

"Did-did she see you?" She asked almost in a whisper.

"Yes. She said that my life was too much for you to handle. That you were too close to a breakdown to handle it, that if I loved you, I would just leave you alone," he finished with a sigh. He hadn't wanted to tell her that, but he just couldn't go on having her think he didn't love her. "So…so, I left and went back to watching over the computer. I must have come back three or four other times, but she was always there, in your room, and she would say the same thing. And I thought," he took a deep breath, "God, I love you so much Liz, I just didn't know what to do. I thought you were strong enough, but she knew so much and maybe I didn't. And you did seem so fragile at the time, so I just did what I thought was right. Then the night Jake was hurt, you just snapped out of it. I went to the hospital. Again, I was going to show myself to you, but then I saw your eyes and for the first time they were clear and I was afraid I would mess with that, so I just left. I shut down the cameras because I knew I wouldn't be able to see you and not go to you again. So, I left the country. Elizabeth, you have to believe me, there wasn't one single day that I was away that I didn't hurt for you, that I didn't ache for you." Jason didn't even realize that his face was stained with tears, all he knew was he needed her to see that she wasn't alone in the pain.

She was in shock. Starting off softly, but with her emotions taking over, she began, "Lainey was supposed to be there to help me. How…how could she think that it was her decision to make?" Anger was rolling off her in waves, but for once it didn't seem to be pointed at Jason. "I am so sick of people making decisions for me! Damn it! I am not some fragile flower or piece of precious crystal to be protected. I am a grown woman!" She was screaming now. "I will not have anyone think it is ok to make my decisions for me ever again, do you here me, Jason? No more! So help me, not one more time!"

Jason just nodded. "Never again. I swear I will never again make a decision for you. I do trust you, Liz. I do think you're smart enough and strong enough to do anything." he finished looking at her with, for the first time, a real sense that maybe things were going to be o.k.

Getting off the couch and turning to look at him, "I need to go for a ride to think all this through, ok?" It wasn't really a question, it was more of a declaration and he wasn't about to disagree.

"Ok," he said simply. He watched her leave, her strides angry and getting more and more so with every step. "Cody, follow her at a distance, ok? Do not interfere, just watch her and make sure she's safe and only interfere if you have to, ok?"

"Yes sir" Cody understood Ms. Webber needed to blow off some steam and he wasn't going to stop her unless he absolutely had to.

~*~*

Liz had never been so angry with so many people at one time in her entire life, she was certain of it. 'What was it about her that made everyone think it was ok to make her decisions for her? Well, that was going to stop, today! Today everyone was going to know she was a force to be reckoned with and that she was not some sweet little nothing!' Liz stomped through the doors of GH looking for her first victim. She found her at the nurse's hub with Carly, Epiphany, and a few other staff members. As she approached her, she screamed out, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

Lainey looked up in shock to see her friend angrier than she had ever seen her, and it was at her. "Liz, I have no idea what you're talking about, but you are obviously upset. Maybe we should go to…"

"Oh now that was a smart observation. Yes, I am upset, you bitch! You had no right to tell Jason to stay out of my fucking life! Just who the hell do you think you are? It was not your decision to make! It was MINE! But, NO, you took it away from me. He came to me thee times…THREE FUCKING TIMES! And you manipulated him and sent him back where he came from. Four fucking years my kids, Jason, and I all suffered and it was all because you decided it was what was best! You had to run everyone's life, you fucking bitch!"

Surprising everyone, Liz launched herself at Lainey. She quickly punched her in the face, knocking her down, where Liz proceeded to finish the job. She was beyond pissed and in just a few seconds Lainey was knocked out and bleeding. Realizing she was out of control, Carly pulled Liz off when it was clear Lainey wasn't fighting back anymore.

"Come on, champ, leave some for another day." Carly giggled.

"You don't understand, Carly. Jason did come to me, but she stopped him! Damn it, let me go! I'm not done with her!" Liz was struggling with Carly as she tried to drag her away.

"Damn it girl, will you calm down? For such a tiny woman, you're fucking strong!" Carly was panting in her efforts. "Um, some help here please? Get her the hell away from here and someone want to help me keep Liz from killing her?"

Epiphany snapped out of her surprised stupor and made quick work of getting Lainey removed and then helped Carly drag Liz to a near by exam room. They quickly shut and locked the door before letting Liz go. She jumped away from them and started screaming to be let out and soon was throwing things around the room "I am not some little girl to be coddled! I am fucking woman DAMN IT!" she screamed again before sinking to the floor with a sob. Carly was soon sitting with her on the floor, holding her friend while she cried out her frustration and anger.

After she calmed down and Epiphany had slipped out, Liz told Carly everything Jason had said.

"So, does this mean you forgive him?" Carly smiled softly.

"No, Jason still made the choice to leave without telling me and he still let that bitch tell him what to do!" She said through gritted teeth. "But, I understand more now. And it did take away some of my resentment and anger, so honestly, I have know friggin idea where Jason and I are right now," she sighed.

"Well, maybe that's enough for today then, huh?" Carly stood up and held out her hand to help Liz up. "Come on, Rocky let's go have a beer."

Liz smiled, "Ok, but I get to pick the place."

"You got it babe, Chippendales here we come!" Carly whooped and they left the hospital arm in arm. As Eiphany watched them go, she grinned and shook her head, 'For such a little thing, she had a heck of a right arm and Lainey had two black eyes and broken nose to show for it.'

Cody had called Jason and told him what was happening. Jason had told him not to interfere but to stay with them. He was not going to be accused of not trusting her to handle it in her own way. The girls spent a few hours at Chippendales not really getting drunk just blowing off steam. Carly delivered Liz home just before midnight. Liz walked in to find Jason waiting for her on the couch.

"H-hey I made something to eat, are you hungry?" Jason asked tentatively.

Liz sighed, "Yeah, I am. What did you make?"

"I grilled a couple of steaks and baked some potatoes."

"Jason, you grilled steaks, outside, in the dark?" she laughed a little at the thought.

"Well, yeah. I thought you might be hungry." He answered like she had asked the silliest question.

"Ok, Jas, bring it on." She just grinned and set about getting napkins and something to drink.

They ate their dinner and watched a movie, 'The Godfather', of course, and for the first time in awhile, just seemed to enjoy each other's company. Jason was overjoyed with the turn of events. He slid a little closer to her on the couch and Liz turned to him, quickly slipping away. "Jason I'm not ready for anything right now. I'm still mad and confused at just about everybody. Sonny for keeping things from you, Lainey for being a know it all bitch, and you for starting all this to begin with."

"Ok, how about we work on just being friends for now, and parents, of course? And forget the rest for awhile?" He asked hopefully.

Liz let out a deep breath she didn't realize she was holding, smiled at him, and said, "That sounds perfect."

Jason looked at her and, for the first time, there was real peace between them. He thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest and he felt himself harden, he chanted, 'just friends, just friends' to himself. He didn't want to mess up a good thing by going too fast. They first fell in love when they started as friends, so maybe they just needed to go back there to find their way out of this mess he had put them in. And who was he kidding, they had never been 'just friends'. He settled himself back into the couch and smirked while handing her the remote, "Ok, friend, you're in charge. So what do we watch next?"

"Well, Godfather II, of course."

Jason laughed "Of course."

They watched the whole Godfather trilogy that night and talked until dawn. It may not be what Jason would prefer to be doing with her 'til dawn, but it was a damn good start.

Chapter 10

Disclaimer; I own nothing I'm just borrowing for fun

Liz woke to the sound of her boy's laughter. 'Which wasn't such a bad way to wake up', she thought with a smile. She got showered, dressed, and then went to search out her boys. She was taken by complete surprise to find them in Jason's room watching TV. She stopped just outside the door and watched them with amusement. They were sitting with Jason, on his bed, watching a dvd of America's Funniest Home Videos. It was one of their favorite shows which is why they had them DVD. They must have brought them in to watch with Jason. It also looked like no breakfast was needed, if the Dunkin Donuts on the bed were any clue. As Liz turned to go downstairs she was struck with the memory of the last time she has watched her sons through the doorway. The day they were talking to Morgan about Jason. Morgan's voice now filtered through her mind.

"He would make a real cool dad. Maybe you should just give him a shot you know hang out with him a little and see if you like him or whatever. I guess he's so used to saving everybody and keeping us all safe that's all he was thinking about when he left. That's what my dad said anyway."

Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to give Jason a chance. She sighed, she wasn't sure if she was ready to trust him just yet, but maybe she was ready to take a step, a step toward him this time instead of away from him. With that in mind, she went downstairs to get herself some tea and a refill of coffee for Jason and then head up to his room.

As Liz walked into the room, the boys looked up, "Hey Mom, we're watch AFV with Jason."

"Yeah, it's pretty funny. We didn't wake you, did we?" He asked hesitantly, not sure how to take Liz, here, in his room, willingly.

"No, you didn't. Here I got you some more coffee." She handed it to him and sat in a chair by the bed to watch.

"You can sit up here with us if you want?" Jason asked.

"No, I'm good here, thanks." She replied giving him a look that said 'don't push it'. Unfortunately her boys didn't catch the look because they were soon up and pulling her to the bed

"Come on, mom, we always watch TV in bed together in the morning."

Jason had his shit eating grin back on his face, "Yeah Mom, come on, sit," he patted the spot next to him invitingly. Liz knew better than to get that close to him on a bed, kids or no kids. She was staying right here, on the edge, thank you.

Jason handed her a chocolate donut.

"Hey! How'd you know that was my mom's favorite?" Jake asked full of surprise.

"I know a lot about your mom; like she loves hot chocolate and when you're sick, I bet she makes you eat tons of soup too, right?" He replied with the corner of his mouth tilting upward.

"YES! Aw it's so gross, too." Cam answered. "What else do you know?"

"Well, when she paints, she can't stay still. She fidgets and sings, but then if it isn't working like she wants, she kind of mutters."

"Oh yeah, we tease her about that all the time. She talks to herself but she never believes us that she did it." Cam answered excitedly.

Jason looked over to Liz and finished softly, "and when she comes in from outside, and it cold out, she smells like…"

"Snow." Jake finished for him. "Yeah. I said that to her once and she said you always used to say that, too, and then she had a funny look on her face."

Jake turned back to the TV then and soon all you could here was his and Cam's laughter. Jason, however, was watching Liz and Liz was desperately trying not to notice him at all.

~*~*

Later that day

Liz had a late shift at the hospital that night, so Jason was going to stay with the boys while she was at work.

Liz called Cam and Jake to come downstairs, "Ok guys listen up. No making a mess! No sweets after dinner and I want you both ready for bed before I come home, ok? Also, please don't give Jason too much of a hard time, ok? He's new at this."

"Got it, Mom. No mess, no junk food, and don't freak out Dad." Jake grinned and nodded his head.

Liz caught her breath in her throat at hearing him call Jason 'Dad'. He hadn't done that before. When she looked over at Jason to see if he caught it, she was glad to see he had. His eyes were red and a little teary and she could tell he was as touched as she was by it. She could also tell her sons were going to be spoiled rotten tonight. She shook her head, kissed and hugged her boys good bye and was out the door.

~*~*

General Hospital

As Liz was going about her duties she was approached by the last person she wanted to see, Lainey.

"Liz, can we talk, please? I just wanted to explain why I did what I did."

"No, Lainey, we can't talk. Because there is nothing to talk about. I know you thought you were doing what was right for me. I know it wasn't malicious, but I also know you have a God complex."

"What? No. Listen Liz, you were devastated by Jason's death and…"

"No, for once Lainey you listen to me. Yes, I was out of it and, yes, I was completely devastated by Jason's death, but that still didn't give you the right to take choices away from me!"

"Yes, Liz, it did. I was your doctor! It was my job to…"

Liz broke in before she could finish, "JUST STOP! Will you listen to yourself? Jeez Lainey, it was your job to talk to me and to help me sort through everything. But it was not your place to make decisions for me. It was my place, or maybe even a family member's place, but never yours!" Liz was pacing as she talked trying to keep her composure.

"Lainey, do you often sit in a patient's bedroom every night for month? Do you often go to their homes? No, you don't. We asked you there as my friend. You were there as Lainey, my friend, not my doctor. If you were my doctor, I would have been in Shadybrook or the hospital, for crying out loud. You over stepped. You made a decision for me that you would have never made for one of your other patients, would you?" Liz turned away and took another deep breath and let it out. She was trying really hard to keep from yelling and getting overly emotional, but it wasn't proving to be easy.

"No, I wouldn't have, but Liz you were my friend," Lainey answered simply.

She turned back, looking directly at Lainey. The woman still didn't seem to be getting it. "As a doctor, a Psychiatrist, you should have realized you were too close to me to be objective. You should have known you were crossing a line, Lainey, but you did it anyway. Telling Jason to leave was more about your own personal views than it was ever about me. You had no right to make a decision like that, period." Calmly, she continued, "And in doing so, I hope you realize, you destroyed our friendship." Liz walked away from Lainey, leaving her standing there, dumbfounded.

Later that night, Liz sat down in the locker room, letting out a sigh. Tonight had been so busy, she had been running all night without even taking a breath it seemed. Suddenly, Liz looked up with surprise as Patrick sat down next to her.

"Hey there slugger." He said as he handed her a cup of chi tea.

"Oh, you are a prince. This is just what I need."

"You know I would offer to rub your feet like I used to, but I reserve that for just my girlfriends, so you're out of lock tonight…"

Liz hadn't been looking at him and wasn't sure how to take that. She turned and saw that sneaky grin on his face, she immediately relaxed.

"Oh man, now your torturing me, too?" She laughed. This was nice. It had been awhile since they had talked and she had missed him.

"So, you want to talk about what ever happened with you and Lainey?" Patrick asked gently.

Liz told Patrick everything, all that Jason told her.

"Wow. I guess she did over step there, huh? That's why you should never treat a friend or family member. And, I would think with her specialty being mental heath that, that would be even more important, much less obvious," he chuckled.

Patrick caught her up on what had been happening with him and she did the same. Soon Liz looked down at her watch and realized her break was over.

"Damn, well its back to work for me. Patrick, thanks for talking to me tonight. I've missed you; I've missed my friend." She hugged him and as she was walking out Patrick replied, "I missed my friend, too." He smiled and as Liz walk back to the nurses hub she felt relieved. They were going to be just fine. Now all they had to do was find him a woman. 'Hmm maybe I'll ask Carly what she thinks.' Liz grinned at the thought and went on with her night.

~*~*

Meanwhile at the Webber home.

Jason had no idea how or when he had lost control. One minute they were watching a DVD and the next all hell broke loose.

"Jake you are such a baby!" Cam yelled.

"I am not a baby! You took my pillow! It's mine! Give it back, buttface!" Jake yelled at his brother.

"Ok, boys, that's enough. Settle down. Cam is that your brothers pillow?" Jason asked calmly.

"No!"

"Yes!"

Both boys answering at the same time.

"Your mother has plenty of pillows Cam, this is not something to argue about. Why don't you just"

"Oh sure, take his side, you're his father not mine, right? Is this how it's always going to be? You taking his side!" Cam yelled hotly.

"What? No, Cam. I'm not taking sides. I was just saying…"

"That, that is my pillow. Now give it back. I want that one." Jake yelled back at his brother.

"Jake, don't.."

Before Jason could finish, Jake went to pull the pillow from Cam and the fight began. The boys were rolling on the floor fighting over the pillow and Jason grabbed the closest boy, Jake, and lifted him off his brother. "Ok, that's enough, boys."

But the boys completely ignored him and Cam grabbed the bowl of popcorn and threw it at his brother. Well, if that wasn't bad enough, the forgotten dinners on the coffee table soon joined the fray. There was pasta, chicken, and vegetables all over the boys, Jason, the walls, ceiling, and the floor in just seconds. Jason was completely dazed by the entire thing. 'What the hell? How did this happen?'

That was how Liz found them all when she walked in, Jason standing with a dazed and confused look on his face, linguini draping off his head onto his face, and the boys furiously throwing missiles at one another. As she walked into the room a blob of chicken hit her in the chest. All participants froze.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Liz yelled at her men.

"I leave you for a few hours and this is what I find? Would you all look at this mess?! Would someone like to start explaining?!"

All at once they started talking, "He took my pillow and wouldn't give it back!"

"Jake is such a baby and Jason took his side and didn't even care about me!"

"I was just watching the movie and the next second everything went nuts and I didn't take anyone's side, Cam."

"QUIET!" she yelled. "You two boys, go up to your bathrooms and shower and change. Then, I want you both back down here, no talking. Not. A. Word. Understood? And, as for you," she pointed at Jason, "You need to learn how to take control. You're their father, not their friend. Now, you also, go, shower and change in my bathroom, then come back down, and I mean pronto! Got it boys?"

"Yes ma'am." All three answered with their eyes lowered and heading toward the stairs.

Liz went into the kitchen, leaving the mess where it lay in the living room. She sure as hell wasn't cleaning it up. As she made her tea and got herself a snack, she sighed, at least no one was hurt and the house was still technically standing. She laughed as she thought, 'As a mother you learned to find the good in almost anything, it kept you from going insane.' Then she frowned, remembering Cam's remark about Jason taking Jake's side. She'd have to fix that one. She soon heard the sound of Jason and the boys coming down the stairs. She met them with a mop, which she handed to Jason, a trash bag and gloves, which she handed to Jake, and a vacuum that she handed to Cam.

"Ok boys, the first thing that is going to happen is you are all going to clean this mess. And I don't want to hear a single sound out of any of you, do you hear me? I am going to go upstairs and take a bath and change. When you are finished, I want you to sit on the couch, and again not a word, and wait for me, is that clear boys?"

"Yes ma'am," she heard in unison, as if they had practiced it. As she turned to go upstairs, she had to smile to herself and how well behaved her 'children' were being.

After her bath, Liz came down to find them all just as she wanted them and the room back to normal.

Liz addressed the boys first. "Boys, I am so disappointed in you..." she started her lecture. She went on to tell them about respecting her and themselves, as well as their home. "I know Jason being your father is new, but you need to give him the same respect you give me."

"BUT" Cam interrupted.

"No buts Cameron! I am not going to even address the pillow issue right now. It is too silly to even give my time to." The boys looked down guiltily; they knew she was right.

"Now, I want to talk about the remark Cameron made about Jason taking Jake's side. Cam, why did you say that? Do you think that?"

"Well, he's not my dad and my friend Joey at school says his step father always picks on him because he's not his kid." Cam finished softly.

Jason looked directly at Cam, "Cam, I love you just as much as I do Jake. There is no difference to me between the two of you, I love you both equally. I want you to be my son, I want you to call me Dad, because as far as I'm concerned, you are my son!" Jason answered with so much emotion in his voice, Liz found herself chocked up.

Liz walked over to sit on the coffee table, across from Cam, "Cam what makes a father isn't just the blood they share with you, it is a feeling you share, a love you feel. He is someone who cares for you and only wants what's best for you. Someone who can teach you things and help you grow. I promise you, Cam, you will always be loved and you will always be cared for by both of us." She hugged her son and then pulled back before asking, "Now, I have a question, and I want an honest answer. Were you picking on Jake just to see what Jason would do?"

"I don't know." Cam answered looking at his shoes.

"Was that fair to Jake when he didn't do anything wrong?"

"No" Cam whispered.

"And Jake, was it really necessary to make such a big deal out of a pillow?" Liz asked, turning to her youngest son.

"No." Jake muttered.

Standing up, Liz started, "Ok. So, here is your punishment. No electronic devices for 48 hours. That means no video games, phones, computers, iPods, nothing. Got it? And you need to apologize to Jason, both of you." she said sternly.

Although they groaned loudly, they agreed, said sorry very softly, and were soon on their way upstairs to their rooms.

Turning back to the couch, where Jason was still sitting, "Jason, you're going to have to learn to take control. Someone could have been hurt. I know you want them to like you, love you even, but they need to respect you too, ok?" Liz knew this wasn't easy on him, but she had to make sure the boys were safe, as well as happy.

"Yeah, I just was trying to get control without being too hard on them. I'm-I'm just finally making some progress with them and I didn't want to mess with that." Jason said, knowing she was right.

"Jason you are not their friend, you are their father, big difference. There are many times that they are mad at me, and don't get me wrong, it hurts, but as their parent's, its our job." She smiled and patted his knee, "Now, come on Dad, lets go get some ice cream. I have some chunky monkey hidden in the freezer."