Note to Readers:
This is not going to be a typical Liason story. I want to warn you before you read. It may not even end with Liz and Jason together. I just don't know where it will go. Let me clarify Jason is in love with Elizabeth and Liz is as in love with Jason as she can be at the point the story opens.
However Liz hates herself, Jason, Nicholas and the world… Lucky is dead along with Cam , Jake and her ability to have children… She is basically dead inside and that is where this opens…
This is a Liz story more than a Liason.
I hope you like it…
I am going to put a NC17 rating on this because I don't know where it will go but realize it may never go there…So we will all have to wait and see….
Enjoy for those of you still interested…
Jason read the note and viewed the check again…
He picked up the bottle of whiskey, took a long pull off the top…Then sent it, along with its contents smashing into the mirror…
All he wanted to do was talk to her, be with her, share their loss but she had pulled away from everyone and everything… The check was the last straw…he had given that to her to raise the boys. Now she was giving it back, along with the money she had received from the sale of the home he had bought for her…
He had known she was moving back to the studio but he had believed that it was so she wouldn't have to live with the ghost. He couldn't blame her for that but this was just being stupid and cruel. She would talk to him. He would make her talk to him. She needed someone and they shared this pain…It wasn't hers to carry alone.
Hell, he needed someone…He needed her…
Elizabeth stared at the canvas feeling as empty and it was blank.
It had been nine months since she had awoken in that hospital room, nine months since Steven had told her about the funnels that she had missed, nine months of a living death. Now she was just empty.
It had taken her another six weeks to leave the hospital and see the graves. They had all been laid to rest in the Quartermain crypt. She almost laughed when Jason had said he had claimed Jake and Cam as his sons. Instead she had thrown him out of her room. Lucky was Luke's son and Luke was married to Tracy . That meant he was belonged there. So she had never had a say. She was just told about the morners and the flowers, the music and the rain. Lord, she wanted to be dead too.
Then Nicholas had wanted to help her threw, to be there for her. He had needed her too, she supposed…but she had nothing to give him. Whatever they had shared before had die that night along with her sons, Lucky and her own sanity.
She and she alone bore the blame… Lucky shouldn't have been driving…He had just learned the truth about her and Nicholas…When she had offered to drive them home or take a cab, Lucky had refused, asking her if she wanted to take anymore of his manhood away. Then that woman, no one knew why she had crossed the line. She had been dead on the scene along with Jake, Cam and Lucky. She herself was had had a metal rod ran threw her lower body. It had been a marical she had survived…Or so that's what she had been told by everyone. To her it was some sort of punishment for not having loved Lucky or been honest. She was paying for her sins with her every breath.
Her physical recovery had been slow going.
It had taken months to regain her balance and strength. The physical therapy wasn't easy and at first she had even refuse wanting to just die. Robin had
put her on sedition for a time with a feeding tube to keep her feed. Then she had almost single handedly forced Elizabeth into the daily routines. Liz had only
agreed when she had realized the physical pain doled the emotional misery. Now she pushed herself harder the more pain the less emptiness.
Liz stood on what could only be described as auto pilot to answer the knock at the door. She did almost everything that way now, with the exception of physical therapy. She had terminated her position at the hospital, sighting her inability to do her job. She spoke to friends or family only when pursued to do so. She went to Lainey only when required to but since she terminated her employment, tat was no long a problem. Now she would only interacted with others during her session and when corned at her studio.
She wondered who she would have to interact with this time and how long it would take them to just give up as she plastered on her Mona Lisa smile and reached for the knob.
The smile faded as Jason pushed past her into the studio. Her heart sank at the knowledge that he could hold his silent, icy stare as long as she could hold the polite, prudish smile.
What was worse was he was ready for a fight and she knew it. Physically she would welcome one win or lose. Emotionally she had nothing and anything, Jason was emotional.
To be continued:
Jason did not, would not look at her. He wanted his fury at her and looking at her would only serve to destroy that.
"What the hell is this?" He flung the paper on the table without, so, much as a glance in her direction.
Elizabeth swallowed hard, "The money was for the boys. Their gone." She finished before her voice broke and headed for the window. She needed air.
It was earlier November and the forecast was calling for snow…So the blast of air that entered the room as she pushed the window open was like the breath of the artic gods.
" Elizabeth ? What are you thinking?" Jason closed the distance between them and slammed the window shut.
"It's…" Jason's self imposed blind eyes fell on her finally, causing not only his voice but his heart to soften all at once, "…freezing."
Jason wished he had never taken the first glance. Now all he wanted was to hold her and to be held by her, to have their children safe and sound at the home he had bought for them to be raised in. That would never be now and he had only himself to blame.
How many times had she asked him to try? How many times had she said she loved him and they just needed to love their children? Now those children where gone and he was with Sam woman who had allowed Jake to be taken from them once and had, had Liz, Jake and Cam held at gunpoint another all to keep Elizabeth away from him. What the hell had he been thinking?
He took in Elizabeth 's form standing in front of him, so close he could touch. She was thinner much thinner with no color. Her eyes where hollowed and the baggy sweat suit was only make her look smaller. Her beautifully chocolate hair was pulled back severely but her eyes… that were worse….to look into the once brimming with life blue orbs and see the emptiness all but killed him. She was dead inside and form her actions was merely biding her time until whatever means of fate could finish her body.
Jason felt sick….
Angry at himself and her for the wasted time fuel his hostility one more…
"The money was for you and the boys…And this is more than I put in that fund…I don…."
Liz cut him off she wanted him out of her studio and out of her life they had cost each other too much and she just wanted the payment to end…
"The house is included. I sold it. You bought it for them to be raised there and they are no longer with me as you can plainly see. They are in a crypt on your family's estate along with Lucky. As for me, I don't want or need your money. However, if you want to do something for me…then use that gun you are carrying and send me to be with them. Other than that, I can think of nothing we have left to say…"
Jason stood stunned at the thought of hurting her. How could that even cross her mind?
"Oh wait, the studio is yours, you bought it. So you can expect a check at the beginning of every month…How much do you want?" Elizabeth was now looking out the window again.
Jason watched her back. He had to needed to find some way past al the anger and resentment. He needed her love again. It was the only way to save her, himself, and the memories of Jake and Cam . He also owed Lucky and saving Liz was price Lucky would require.
"My price might be steep." Jason words where that of a cat about to eat his prey.
"Then I'll leave by tomorrow." Liz was in no mood for his games. She wanted her emptiness and he filled too much of the room.
"I didn't say you couldn't pay it…So don't you want o hear the cost?"
Elizabeth eyed him reluctantly, "What's it going to cost me?"
"Me, that's my price. You have to put up with me. I'll live here with you. No strings attached. You don't even have to talk to me but you have to stay here with me."
Elizabeth turned to face him, "I'll be out by the morning you can go now."
"Ok, but where are you going to go? Back to your Grams? Liz we both know you can't afford a place of your own since you left the hospital and your family would only push you to lie to their faces. I know you can't live like that. So where?... Well I guess you could go to Windermere but Nicholas would take that as a sign something else you couldn't live with. So I am your only choice."
Elizabeth 's hand grasped the glass jar setting on the sill. She hurled it at his head.
Jason ducked just in time to save himself from a nasty bump or cut…
"So I'll be here tomorrow bright and earlier with some construction workers. I'll have them combine the two apartments on either side of this one into one place. So we have our space but we need this Elizabeth and I will make it your only choice if I have to. We need to heal and healing together is our only hope."
Elizabeth stood stunned and angry at her life being high jacked. He would pay if it was the last thing she did.
Jason leaned against the wall and wanted to cry part of him hating himself for what he was doing, part grateful that he had found some life left in her even if it was all anger, part of him wanting his own emptiness to take him.
To be continued:
